The year: 5 years to Y2K, when the world was supposed to end. Matlab, 1995.
The place: Hospital (as we called it). BARC Hospital.
The scene: Raghu, a dear friend, met with an ekdam terrible accident. Waat tha. Broken shoulder, broken leg. Haalat kharaab re.
He was admitted to the BARC hospital and was operated upon. Naseeb, the operation went well, and they did the needful to set the bones in place. Rod sab lagake.
A week passes since this. He is shifted to the normal ward, recovering, but still in tremendous pain we learn.
Saturday evening, at about 5 p.m., Ratish (another friend) and I decide to go and meet Raghu, to motivate him, encourage him and uplift spirits.
The hospital has a lobby, and to its left is the elevator. So we enter and get into the elevator to reach the 3rd floor. The door opens, and we see Raghu’s father standing right there, waiting to enter the elevator.
Happy to see him, I in my usual enthu wala loud voice go “Arre uncle! Kaisa hai?! How are you?!”
Uncle, being himself, smiles and says “Ah, Jitu, yes,yes I am fine…Good, good you came to see Raghu. I was just going to the canteen. To have a cup of tea…I will be back in some time, you both go ahead and meet him.”
And I responded with double the enthusiasm than my first greeting “Don’t worry uncle. Hum log hai. WE will take care of Raghu. You go and have a relaxed cup of tea. Aaram se aao uncle. No problem.”
With this uncle smiles, and happily enters the lift. And we look at each other, smiling, walk into the ward. “Arre, bahut din ke baad milega re Raghu ko” Ratish says.
And…as we start walking in, you know that typical smell? That hospital wala smell? It welcomes us. It’s a horrible smell, and just seems to be growing as we walk past the first few wards. I am uncomfortable with the smell. Or let me say…I just can’t stand that smell.
(We didn’t have the concept of wearing a mask then like we do now with the corona virus circus! Even though I don’t enjoy wearing masks, I would, if I had it then, still worn it!)
So…gannnnddha hospital smell. We walk through it and reach Raghu’s bed. Oh my God! He is heavily bandaged. He has bandage all over his body! Hands plastered, shoulder bandaged, one leg in a cast, tied and hanging from a support with some weight on it. Baapre, what a sight ☹.
It was very scary looking…and sorry looking too.
Apna Raghu was in pain, in this condition. But we must bring in the positive energy, cheer him up. Isn’t that what we went there for!
“Hey Raghu! Kaisa hai?” we greet him.
Raghu is happy to see us. He smiles and says “ekdam badiya”.
“Doh teen hafta jaega bola Doctor. Time lagega”
I try to motive him. “Bindaas re! Be brave, be strong. Its all in the mind.”
Well, Raghu was on the bed, in pain, visibly suffering, and clearly not in any mood for my “Shiv Khera” type motivational speech!
He nodded his head giving me the looks, …which would have, if said aloud, spelt “Saala, idhar mera haath toota hai, tangdi toota hai…be strong ke bacche…WTF!”
And I catch the drift and shut up!
Now, Ratish tries to shift the mood by talking about football, and how the games were happening in the building etc. without realizing that its probably not the best topic again!
Raghu says “Gaa*du log, kaiko jalaarai bey, aur kucccccch nahi hai kya tumlog ke paas baat karne ko?”
Ratish quickly adds “arrey, terko bahut miss kartai re…especially the girls”.
Nopes. This doesn’t work too! Raghu was in severe pain. Matlab very very severe pain.
After a bit, Raghu is uncomfortable with the position of his leg. He looks at me, and somewhat reluctantly asks me to lift it and shift the legs position.
I am not known to be the gentle kinds. So, he is probably is also worried that if I move his leg even a bit more than what’s necessary, the pain could surpass labour pain!
“Tu tension matt ley re, aaram se karega mai…ekdam Dheere se” I comfort him.
I go near his leg a bit nervously, keeping in mind that I can’t shake it, drop it, twist it or anything.
I lift his leg with both hands slightly…and…and then…
Duuuffffffffff… aisa ek full blast of that hospital smell!
It was as if someone had sprayed a concentrated hospital smell wala gas right over my face!
Ohhhh the medicine smell reeking from his cast, the nasty nauseating acrid antiseptic liquid smell.
It was just so overpowering, so overpowering, I could see nothing! I just couldn’t take it. Fattt raha tha! Waat! My head was spinning, there was a blackout in my head, I was feeling woozy!
If I could run away from the smell, that day I would have broken Usain Bolts record by a big big margin! Itna duurrr itna jaldi bhagta than a… Maaa kasammm!
But, Raghu ka tangdi mere haath mein! And he was already in so much pain! Agar mai uska paaon drop kiya toh finissshhhhh…
Idhar mera sarr ghoomrai, udhar uska paaon mere haath mein, full locha! Kaisa toh mustering strength I slowly placed his leg back to where it was, say “Rati…” and…
!!&&*$@)(@&zing…..thadaakkk…
.
.
I wake up to find myself sitting on a wheel chair! I have no recollection of what happened!
I had fainted! And was unconscious for almost 10 minutes I am told! Hahahah
The nurse lovingly told Ratish “arrey, aisa log kaaheko patient dekhne aatai…khud patient bann jaate hain and hamara kaam badaa dete hain. Leke jaao isko please. Thanda paani kuch pilaao”.
All this happening in front of Raghu!
Ratish now says a bye to him, I just wave…I remember Raghu laughing out loud oblivious to all the additional pain that it might have caused due to the body shaking!
As I am wheeled out of the ward by Ratish, all the patients there watch me, with a huge question mark on their face. (Probably thinking “yeh doh log chalke gaya, abb aane ke time kya ho gaya?!”
Rati did try controlling his laughter, but couldn’t after a point! He burst out laughing as we approach the lift.
We press the call button for the lift, and guess who!
Raghu’s father is back after having tea!
In total disbelief he stands there with a packet of Parle-G in his hand, shocked, not moving for a whole minute! (Now I am worried about him!)
“Jitu, what happened? Just some time back you were laughing, happy and all ok, and now, on a wheel chair?” he asks.
I look up at Rati, and Rati laughs even more louder! “Uncle, nothing, he is fine..dont worry…who hospital smell ke wajah se he got a bit dizzy. I will take care of him. Uncle, Raghu wants you to be there, please go there” says Rati to uncle.
“Aiiyooo, Jitu, please take care. Now only come home to meet Raghu haan. Don’t come here, no taking chances. He should be back home within a month”, says uncle.
“Haan uncle, dekhte hain uncle” we said and moved into the lift which closed behind us.
It was a quick recovery…for me! And it took Raghu a few weeks to come back and visit me!
The pain was much less for him then. So we all laughed until it hurt again!
We laughed then, and we laugh at it now!
The memory of the incident is as fresh as it could be, and I am thankful, the memory of the smell isn’t as much 😊.