True story:
It was the day when Bharat release hone wala tha. No, not Independence day types, but Bharat movie. Sallu bhai movie.
My wife Priya is a big time Salman Khan fan. So, to surprise her and earn some brownie points, ekdam enthu mein I secretively book 2 tickets for the movie well in advance, least that it sells out. (Salman fans kuch bhi kar saktai I tell you. Bhar jaega theatre). Afternoon 1.30 p.m. ka show. Which would end at 4.30 p.m or so.
Closer to the date, I realize, maa kasam, on the very same day, India plays South Africa in the World Cup match! Dilemma.
Being a nice partner apni jagah, I was also a bit worried about missing 1.5 hours of the world cup cricket match. Woh bhi India ka.
Technology comes to my aid! I promptly download Hotstar, subscribe to the cricket package, and test it on the phone. Works seamlessly! Bach gaya!! All set!
Matc..sorry, Movie day.
We reached the theatre… all happy – after all it’s a Salman Movie. Public seeti veeti sab marrai re shuru mein…
30 mins into it- everybody has already lost interest in the movie. Horrible movie! (Understatement haan) Ekdam raddi. We were hoping that there will be SOME turnaround in the movie. (How optimistic we are na! 🙂 )
No such luck. It just went from bad to worse!
Faaltu time waste…udhar match chalu hota hoga…and… hey, wait…apne paas toh Hotstar hai!
I slowly switched on my mobile and kept it close to my chest so that it doesn’t disturb others. I watched the preview and am all set for the match.
A very considerate Priya asked me – “Jitu, ghar jaane ka hai kya match dekhne? Should we leave for home? We can watch the match there.”
(She thought of reciprocating the gesture)
“No no, its ok Priya” I said, “dekhte hain movie…maybe some good parts are yet to come.”
We continued to sit there. Me toggling between Hotstar and Bharat movie! (as it it was an Alt-Tab!) the brightness of the phone interfering with the darkness in the movie (no pun intended)
As the match began, I hardly looked up.
The person next to me turned to me…for a second, I was embarrassed ki he is going to yell at me.
He spoke up. “Boss…score Kya Hua?” Hahaha wow!!
I told him SA 11 for 1.
“Kya baat hai! Kaun gaya?”
A few more questions followed. And I happily answered!
We were whispering and discussing during the movie!
And then, the guy from behind firmly tapped my shoulder. I froze.
Of course, no one really likes anyone murmuring or any disturbance during the movie.
Pre-empting, I turn around slightly to say sorry, but before I could, he says “Kya chalrai boss…” and there is short pause before I could apologize, and he continues “Score Kya hai?”
Hahah this is crazy!
Salman’s Bharat was boring the public.. and clearly Virat Kohli’s Bharat was doing well.
So I kept my mobile at a bit away from my chest, and at an arm’s length so that few more could watch.. haha haha… saala all this while Salman’s movie in theatre! There are half a dozen people watching the small screen than the big screen!
And then one guy stood up and announced the score “SA 80 for 4! Chaar wicket gaya” Public full on taali bajaya… hahaha ..
Just imagine how bad the movie was!
Uss din Salman nahi, mai hero tha woh theatre mein (at least for those 7-8 guys)
hahaha
A saviour helping to savour the excellent performance of Bharat-the cricket team!
Mazaa aa gaya!
Moral of the story- Please do not watch Bharat…instead watch Virat’s Bharat!